This post is in continuation of my earlier post of 19th November 2017 – here it is The Simple Things and Pleasures of Life.
Sometimes (nowadays, oftentimes), it is very helpful to drop whatever you are doing and take a walk around (may be within the house, otherwise people might forget that you exist, or you are at home now, or just that it would be good to interact in a physical sense with others rather than messaging the person in the next room). Whatever you are doing at this moment is very important to you, but may not be relevant to anyone else. The importance that you assign to anything you do/are doing tends to be very high, and you assign lower importance and lower priority to what others do, even at your own home, and surely with others outside. This is nothing but male chavinistic thinking, however.
Giving up something (even a temporary giving up) is tough for a possessive character like me. I always had and continue to have a slightly superior complex about my being – my skills, capabilities, intellectual capacity, talent, outlook, analytical prowess, literary knowledge, temperamental stability, and what not. Coming “down” to terms with others is tough. When I form a “profile” of someone I have come in contact with, my “analytical” box advises me on whether I should engage further deeply, or just keep superficial contact, or drop the contact completely. So, as we grow older, we tend to get incredibly complex on all matters, even the simple ones.
If we drop what we are doing and take a walk, we can learn something from others we come in contact with. This is the case at home, and also outside. Observation skills increase substantially when we take a casual walk around. During my weekend intensive walks, I see a lot of things on the way, and subconsciously these things are recorded in the brain to sort through later. Learning and imbibing and grasping things all the time are also critical activities as one ages – such things keep the brain very active while you are also exercising your body by walking or jogging.
While getting out of one’s shell is absolutely an important activity (I do this at least 10 times a day, given that I tend to spend a lot of time with my iPhone and Laptop), which will be recognized by your folks at home. Your wife who has so far termed you an “anti-social” might give you a smile if you invade the kitchen or the living room frequently, though she thinks that you are a complete waste of time when it comes to helping her around the house. Your kids might wonder what happened – why is dad knocking on my door. Well, all this might look nothing out of the ordinary, but we must consciously attempt to do all these things consistently. I used to play a random game of table tennis with my son or my wife sometimes, and I miss those days. Now, you go and ask them to come and play some game, they are going to demur.
It is also important to have an exploratory spirit, like when I persuaded my wife to accompany me in driving 25 KMs for a cup of rose latte (I have written about that experience). It is just that we are trying to get more “face” time with the people who matter in our life – not that rose latte is the most important drink that you are going to have. Identifying places, experiences or restaurants on your own and throwing a surprise around the house, or to your close friends, is a very enjoyable and important activity which endears you to the people around you. It does not just reflect your knowledge of the place, it shows a certain propensity on your part to take the trouble of researching on what could be the best experience that you could genuinely discover and offer to your family or friends. It will not go unrecognized.
Given the complexity of an otherwise simple life, it only goes to show how important simple things can be as we navigate our lives. No big gifts, no expensive stuff, no five star dinners, but simple gestures such as the above go a long way in instilling a certain respect, a certain love, and a certain affection, and these are exactly what you look for as you grow older and wiser. Now you realize all this requires efforts on your part, and it is the most valuable investment you will ever make in your life. The investments in simple pleasures of life are indeed the most valuable, with the highest rates of return.
Yesterday, I dropped my daughter at her boxing class, and decided to press the accelerator towards the Woodlands Causeway. It was a good ride from Orchard Road all the way up north (I did not see the Odometer of the car, but my guess is that it would have easily been a 30 KM ride at the minimum). There was not much traffic, and I switched on my favourite radio station (92.4 FM) and drove at a constant 90 KMPH while listening to some Beethoven classic which Andrew Lim plays on 92.4 FM channel. On the way back, I switched the music to my iPhone song collection and played The Carpenters. It was an amazing musical experience, and I loved every minute, and I think my car also liked it as it does not get to drive this much distance on any given day. I think my car’s mileage apparently improved!
I did my morning walk today 6:27 AM to 8:27 AM (exactly 120 minutes) and did 12,300 steps, and I did this at the MacRitchie Reservoir. I saw hundreds of people after 7:30 AM. I saw many folks who were more than 60 years old doing the tough trail walk. I said good morning to almost everyone who crossed my path, except when I was looking down to avoid slipping from the wet soil/leaves. It was a pleasurable experience (I did this yesterday as well), and these are simple things in life which make you more human and less book-centric, and less phone-centric.
I can go on and on, however the essential learning is to step away from whatever you are doing, mingle with your family members, and do this several times a day. Also, smile and wish at people when you go out, as even the “reserved” people of Singapore return the greeting (90% of the time), though they receive the greeting only around one-third of the time from strangers as I witnessed during my walks.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend by walking around. And, smile please.
26th November 2017