Ability to be honest


Well, as I sit here looking at my computer, I think of many topics to write about this evening. Most of the time, I would have chosen the topic in advance and then thinking about the content for the topic. However, many a time, I run out of topics and then have to think deeply enough to write about something meaningful to me and to my audience.

For today’s blog post, I chose the topic of honesty (and, by extension, integrity). In friendships and relationships that we build, the essential building block is honesty. The ability to be totally transparent and honest with friends is one of the key tenets in building a sustainable relationship. Sometimes, it might lead to a loss of friendship due to the brutal nature of input or feedback – though rarely, as the friends that you choose would be sturdy enough to receive your feedback, otherwise they just become casual acquaintances.

Personal integrity is key to any relationship – if I say that I will do something by a certain time, I will do everything possible to deliver on that commitment to a friend, having agreed to do so in the beginning. It is fundamental to the partnership between two individuals. As I test each building block of a relationship, I am looking for potential cracks and weaknesses. The ability to sustain for the long term is a must. The ability to be honest when things do not go right is also absolutely critical to move the relationship forward on a solid footing.

However, we always encounter friends and especially relatives who do not understand the basics of building a honest partnership based on total trust and integrity. They sometimes take things for granted. I never take things for granted in any relationship. I believe sincere and hard work is always needed to keep nurturing any relationship. The ability to share experiences and expectations without any kind of reservation is also an essential component of this relationship.

I constantly keep testing friendship equations to ensure that these are always “balanced”. If someone asks for a favour, I try to fulfil it if I can figure out a way; being totally transparent as to my strengths in fulfilling the request is very important as it is not mutually beneficial to build any false hopes. I try to restrict (as much as possible) my seeking any favours, as I do not wish to create an obligation for achieving balance in a slightly unequal equation problem. It is very critical to maintain equality in the partnerships; at the same time, I would extend my hand to support genuine requests which are made in the hope that I could fulfil the same.

In a nutshell, honesty and integrity are the cornerstones for building a successful partnership, though it might take a longer time. The idea is to build a sustainable growth based on mutual trust, belief and commitment to each other. It is not necessary that we have to see “eye to eye” on every single issue. In fact, we might differ on most issues, yet see congruity in building the partnership. For example, I might belong to a different political dispensation, a uniquely different social orientation, or a corporate profile not compatible with the “equation” that we are trying to establish. Nevertheless, we both see that we could jointly achieve certain things by working together closely, and we mutually decide to pursue the same. Paths might diverge but thoughts are aligned.

Honesty and integrity are hard to maintain, should we fall prey to the damning persuasion to be just “nice” to each other all the time. While being nice is important, it should not detract us from more critical conversations on matters which are close to our hearts. It is also important to call out positions not compatible with lack of integrity at an early stage, as gradual deterioration would lead to irreversible loss. It is very important to remember this fact.

Being open, communicative, completely transparent, and honest are key ways to lay a strong foundation to building a long term partnership with anyone, even with new unknown friends. And, surely that works even between two companies!

I would say that being honest has paid me dividends over the years, though there were couple of misses, which was fine. One cannot expect the best return all the time. I also know that even in those rare cases, the friends involved maintained respect for the interaction and for me, as they understood I was not hitting them in a personal way. I was attacking the issues involved in a straightforward manner, though they did not like the matter even being raised.

So that is my thesis on the need and ability to be honest all the time in all interactions. such an approach will pay off in the long term.

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

11th February 2018

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