Why do people get angry?


Anger Management is an old topic that I had covered sometime in the past.

After many years of experience taming my anger about things which I should anyway get angry about, I can safely say that anger is not a totally useless feeling.

You should feel angry about things which are pertinent to you as a person or to the society in which you are living. Anger falls under a range of emotions that we, as human beings feel and experience. There is nothing wrong with that – in fact, if you do not feel angry about things which are unjust or which are harmful to you or to the society, then there is really something wrong with you. After all, we are all not saints.

Clearly, if you are wrongly targeted by someone, or you are wronged in an inappropriate manner, you should be angry, nothing wrong about that.

But then, getting angry does not mean that there is a free hand for expressing it in a violent or offensive manner. Most folks translate the feeling to wrong actions – even throwing things around the house for something which has gone wrong, is totally inappropriate. In the past, I used to get the urge to throw or destroy things in my way, after I got angry in the worst possible manner. It took me quite a while before I managed to control my behaviour. I realized that the destructive streak in many of us goes along with the strong feelings generated by anger, which is instigated by some very unpalatable happening. It is totally inappropriate and wrong to pursue that course of action, as destruction is not the way to resolve your anger.

It is best not to follow any examples for anger control and management, as it is a very personal effort. It is not connected with energy or passivity of an otherwise calm individual. Provacation has a price, and it exerts a damage. It is critical to avoid unnecessary prompts inducing unnecessary anger. For instance, I have seen people who are very angry with the way government behaves, or who are quite upset with law enforcement and its deficiencies. We should have the wisdom to distinguish between things which we can and cannot control.

This does not mean you cannot comment on the state of affairs. However, my point is that we should learn to separate emotion from our opinion. We should also recognize that there are always two sides to the coin, and everyone will have their own point of view. It is not that only our opinion is the most sacred one of all.

Anger is also relative – if we demonstrate our anger in an aggressive manner, we should not be shocked with a powerful retaliation of anger at a higher level. We should therefore be careful about directing our anger at unintended recipients, or even in a specific way as things could go rather wrong.

Anger also increases your stress and possibly your blood pressure. Why then initiate it? Stress harmone production caused by the anger feeling is not good for our health, and has long term implications. Blood pressure is a killer, as we all know. So why indulge in an unproductive feeling which causes destruction and produces unwanted health problems?

In a nutshell, while feeling angry is in itself not bad, connecting with anger in an emotional way and behaving in a destructive manner as a result, are not good signs of a stable person. Stability and calm demeanour are critical parameters for managing the anger that you feel on any matter inimical to your composure.

Inciting supporters against non-supporters is a good example of instigating fear, anxiety and anger amongst people out there in the open. President Trump managed to accomplish this act from the highest level of office in all of the U.S. I do not have to write more about the damage done to the democratic fabric of the American society in this context. We need to ask President Trump to control his anger and frustration about everything around him. Especially the anger he has shown towards the mainstream media which has not been useful or helpful at all.

Control your anger while understanding the cause of it, and deal with it in a calm way.

Have agreat weekend, folks.

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

27th October 2018

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