Which we missed, and keep missing even now……….
The only simple things and pleasures of life that I have known in my early years of life happened well before I turned 17. In fact, most of those simple things which I relish in my memories even today happened when I was less than 12 years old.
While we can attribute the recognition and enjoyment of “simple” things and pleasures to our innocence, there is no reason why those kinds of simple things could not have continued all through our lives. “Simple” pleasures keep coming up throughout life, as when you hold your first baby in hand and he or she smiles at you. I will touch upon these things in this post, but first let me elaborate on what I mean by “Simple” stuff.
As we take baby steps into our complex life story, there are instances which we would like to keep repeating or we would like to happen every day – for instance, form a small group of close-knit friends in primary school, while all the time fighting with them; play “kabbadi” every day in school, win some games but lose some without any rancour or disappointment, looking forward to settling the scores next day; laugh and run around the class room chasing a friend who has “stolen” a pencil from you; laugh out loud (LOL) when a friend gets the rap from the teacher for none of his mistake; celebrate Deepavali with neighbours’ kids by launching competitive rockets or flower pots; eat a lot of sweets and steal some of them while others are not looking; go to Bata shop with parents to buy shoes for school and push them for what you like; run away from home for playing games when your mom shouts at you for having something to drink or eat; travel in overnight train to a “distant” place on a vacation; drink a “cool” drink (it was mostly Fanta those days) which was really cold and feel really good after the last drop, wanting some more of it; learn to run very fast so that your brother or sister cannot catch you, while you are running with some new gift or stuff that they also want to look at; sing loudly while having a cold bath; and what not…………………so on and so forth.
However, once you finish primary school (those days it was the 5th Grade), you realize you are going into a bigger school which was called the “high” school. You are still wearing half-pants and white shirt, but suddenly a new responsibility comes on you, and your parents start applying more than the normal pressure on your academic performance. They talk about passing out of high school, going to college, achieving their ambitions for you to become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer. Now, life takes a turn.
You still play games, sports, run around a lot, eat a lot, keep looking for new things, etc., but slowly the speed of everything that has been very active in life drops and settles on your desk with an old lamp throwing light on things you have to do at school tomorrow. Your mind clouds a bit, you are surely a bit confused, your being still wants to do everything you have been doing till date, but attaining the age of 11 and moving into high school changes many things. You are soon rushing into the 8th Grade, then to the 11th Grade, and then passing out as a young guy into college. Of course, we all did naughty things between the ages of 14 and 17, converting our relative innocence about life into something more complex and somewhat mysterious.
Slowly, the “simple pleasures” of life take on a different meaning for us. It is now more self-centred. In my case, it was different because I lost my father when I turned 17, and so the complexity of life took a major toll on how my views of the world, and my views of “simple pleasures” turned out to be – it has happened to many of us, though it is a much younger age in which to face the challenges, the corruption, the ugliness, and the insincerity of life. For the rest of us, however, life had continued normally which I would call a blessing for an uninterrupted enjoyment of the simple pleasures till the next tipping point arrives in life.
What was a bit unusual in my case (don’t know about other classmates of mine – they might have ben faced with similar issues) was that I faced a series of financial and social troubles which continued from the age of 17 till I turned 29. And, I had to tackle each and every issue on my own at a relatively young age, with no support from anyone. That experience made me a tougher person, who formed an opinion on everything at my own will and pleasure. My ability to receive input and feedback from other external constituents dropped significantly. I started to think that I can solve all my problems myself, nobody really helped me till now, and so why bother. A blessing in some disguise, right?
Nothing wrong, as long as the above attitude is combined with hard work and resulting performance, which was the case in my life. I had no time for seeking out religious blessings and spirituality. I was rushing through the act of building the edifice of my life, and ensuring my siblings were all well settled in life. I was rushing through my own marriage. I was rushing through everything in my life at that time anyway.
The result? I missed out on attainment of spirituality. I do not need to be religious or ritual-bound in order to see that there is a greater spirit which guides our lives. It is very critical, in my opinion, to reach the stage of equanimity and spirituality before you turn 30 in the “Sea of Life”, or else you only keep dreaming about it.
Now I am in my late fifties, and I have rarely thought about spirituality except in occasional group talks, while continuing to discharge my duties and responsibilities in life. Do I miss anything? Yes, of course, I miss many important things and one of those key things is “spirituality” and the identification of the spirit which exists within me. I am probably not recognizing the power of the spirit or its healing capacity. I am doing things which my spirit would never approve of. I continue to be “cocky” about my sense of confidence and my ability to navigate the “Sea of Life” without faith on a higher spirit.
This is why it is very crucial to recognize the role of spirit in one’s life while one is relatively young, as any learning during those young days carry on in a sustained manner, undeleted by the passage of time. I also think such a faith would allow one to deal with very difficult health challenges such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s as the spirit should be having a way to guide our soul into “conscience” and make us see the “light” within ourselves.
As I stated before in this post, the “simple pleasures” keep occurring in our lives as we course through life, especially when our children arrive in our lives and inject a new sense of optimism, hope and confidence. Then we see them growing and attaining goals which we thought were very difficult for us! Life goes on and yields a stream of simple pleasures which need to be relished every day.
So, in a nutshell, we need to enjoy every moment of our life, like what we used to do when we were in primary school. If that can be done with the accompaniment of a spiritual guidance, so much more better for us. If not, that’s also fine as long as we are in a equanimous composition in the mental state.
I hope I am able to explain this in a better way. Don’t miss the spirit and its guidance if you can, early in life.
19th November 2017