80 Minutes of Solitude


I look forward to my Sundays.

Not for the inherent laziness it entails. Not for the food that I can cheat on, at least for a day. Not for the multitude of TV shows, movies and cricket matches.

I love my Sunday morning walks, which are always longer ones compared to other days of the week. I typically do 50 minutes of walking on weekday mornings (sometimes 60 minutes), but on Sundays I tend to stay on my walk somewhat longer, typically reaching 80 minutes of continuous, non-stop walk.

It is not just for the sake of satisfying my Fitbit (of course, sheepishly I keep looking at it once in a while to check how I am doing!).

The idea is to have some focused aerobic exercise, for sure. It kind of make my lungs breathe some early morning fresh air, which is just pure goodness in these times of pollution percolating into our lives every moment. I feel good at the end of the walk though I am soaked in sweat.

However, the key benefit that I have to claim is the impervious solitude that I seem to be achieving during every such long walk in areas surrounded by thick shrubbery and water. While my mind keeps processing the inputs from the environment surrounding me during my walk, it also is replaying portions of my life. It also is forcing me to think about life choices. It is in a unique position of quietude when it can challenge me on difficult issues pertaining to my own life. How did I perform when faced with a difficult situation? How did I handle a tough matter? Did I do well when dealing with one of my family members? How would have my life changed had I selected a different option in a decision-tree?

I find the exercise fascinating. Since there is hardly any distraction (apart from bird sounds and ruffling of leaves), the mind is absolutely clear with an unparalleled ability to dissect issues threadbare and lay these down in front of your eyes. Yes, while walking I have been able to witness the power of the mind, which I would not have been able to under normal circumstances.

I have come to love my Sunday morning walks due to the impact that these “walk with me” kind of solitude they provide to me. I did 80 minutes of walk this morning as well, and sheepishly counted 8,000 steps when I walked back into my home on my Fitbit – more or less accurate, I should say. But what is more important to me personally is the “review” that my mind conducted of my doings, behaviour, performance, and life choices.

Where else can I get this kind of service, feedback and advice?

At the end of the day, everything is in our hands. There are many folks who say that everything is in God’s hands, but I disagree. Man and Woman are intelligent human beings created by a greater force, so they are in a position to evaluate things and make appropriate decisions for themselves. Help might come in many different ways, but the responsibility for their actions is always theirs. They cannot and should not blame God for any of their failures.

So, it is very critical to listen to your own self. You are the master of your thoughts, your behaviour, your being and your actions. And the best way to listen to yourself is to seek solitude. I would suggest that you do not go for a walk with your partner as that could become an extension of the household – you do not wish to be debating the same issues that you would be discussing with your better half at the park. Try to be all alone in absolute solitude. And stay that way as long as possible, giving enough space to your mind to debate with YOU.

This works for me. I can tell you that I have come up short during many instances in my life, and now I am staring at the learning that I can indeed achieve by listening to my own mind – it is indeed beautiful, and all of us have beautiful minds.

Think about it, and you might agree with my observation which comes from practice. By the way, I met my target of 98,000 steps for the week of 7 days finishing today (Sunday), so I am doing well on the Fitbit count. Keep walking but also keep thinking.

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

23rd June 2019

How to keep and feel young


Probably, there is a grammatical error in the title, I think so. However, it is an interesting and relevant topic I guess. There is lot of material on the web and several books which explain the possibilities and promises of aging gracefully. It is always good to learn what others are doing, and try to adopt some of the tried and tested techniques. As always, I thought it would be appropriate to share one’s own experiences arising from personal experimentation.

The #1 approach towards keeping oneself young is to work with youngsters. I always find that they are brimming with new ideas and new things to do. Slowly and very gradually they morph into mature people wherein caution steps in, but before that point in time we can leverage their idea factory. Just by talking to a teenager, I believe we can achieve “freshness” of mind and thinking, because we do not think along the same lines as they do. Youngsters today are adaptable and innovative, with no constraints to their thinking. This means they have no baggage of any sort, and are not coloured by other adults’ thinking or approach towards a life or business problem. Our mind starts to race and work much faster than it normally does, while working with youngsters, and this is all goodness for our own self-development and improvement in thought and operational behaviour.

The #2 approach towards keeping oneself young is to follow an exercise regimen. Again, let me share from my own personal experience. I was doing exercises incorrectly and in my own random fashion, and that too not regularly. This would mean that I might pass one whole week without doing any exercise at the gym, or I might work out just once a week. My wife observed my randomness, inconsistencies, and loss of muscle strength, and enrolled me compulsorily into a physical training program at a local gym. I protested, but she was firm, pointing out all my foibles and lack of consistent commitment. She also (much to my dislike I should say) pointed out that I am getting older and I am looking old already. I thought I have kept myself rather well, and do not look my age, but she strongly differed. So I started a tough exercise regimen under a rather tough trainer, and after one year of hard work (2 sessions per week), I can state that my wife was right (as she always is). I started gathering some muscle strength.

The #3 approach towards keeping oneself young is to adopt a diet regimen in the strictest manner possible, and reduce the intake of alcohol. Easier said than done. Now I am almost into my 8th month of low-carb dieting program which I devised for myself (not a keto diet). I do not eat rice, naan, or much of any high-carb foods. I do not touch sugar, though I am weak on my knees when it comes to dark bitter chocolate which I allow myself once in a while and I cherish those moments (!). I have written about my diet program in one of my earlier posts. I am eating more of egg whites, kale salad, vegetables, green fruits, millet and proteins. I located pumpernickel and whole rye bread varieties from Germany which are available at very decent prices in Singapore. I eat lots of plant nuts every day.

The #4 approach towards keeping oneself young is to go after social networking – both of the personal friendship variety as well as company friends variety. We need friends – nothing can bring back our youth and school / college days irrespective of whatever wealth one has, but old school friends can recreate the magic of our school days. When we have a strong network or networks of close friends from the past, our brains work hard in recreating the neural network to support the memories and expansion of our friends’ networks. And, this in turn, keeps us away from mental atrophy and dreadful diseases such as Alzheimer’s. More we feel young by experiencing the old friendships, the more we are rejuvenating our brain cells, and the more we become younger.

The #5 approach towards keeping oneself young is to follow one’s passion for something – anything will do. In my case, it is blogging, and you see the result of the same here! I also love selecting and drinking good wine, but I have reduced the intake of alcohol considerably, keeping in line with my dieting program. When I write (like this blog piece), I find that my creative juice is spurting in full spring, and my English keeps improving (though several readers have complained that my posts are full of grammatical errors), and my ideas are flowing non-stop (till I finish writing the piece). Once that translation of passion into something concrete happens (it happens twice per weekend for me as my readers know), then there is adrenalin release and a sense of consummation. I enjoy that feeling and savour the same twice every weekend.

The #6 approach towards keeping oneself young is to read a lot of unconnected materials. I personally read all kinds of random stuff on my iPhone and laptop (whenever I can). I have so many news apps on my phone that I have lost track. I also have consolidator apps which puts stuff together for me based on my areas of interest. The advent of really powerful smartphones has changed our lives, and surely it has enhanced my knowledge. When I read materials on every conceivable topic, in a seemingly random manner, I tend to forget the same after a few hours or a couple of days, and that is normal. However, when I start writing on a specific topic, my brain automatically searches my own mind on the topic, much like a Google search, so that if I had come across certain relevant information about the topic I am writing about, it comes to me in a flash. This essentially means I am using my brain as a database or a data warehouse wherein the links happen with disconnected data elements based on a search request. Such actions keep the neural network strong and very much active, constantly working on something, which is what you need to remain mentally young and sharp.

The #7 approach towards keeping oneself young is to nurture your already strong family relationships, and potentially form new relationships with people that you meet and tend to like. This means that you spend more time (not less time!) with your wife and children, and with your parents / parents-in-law / siblings and others who are closely related to you. The more you spend time sharing your thoughts and experiences in a manner that could benefit the others, specifically the youngsters in the family, the more you will gain a “sense of purpose” as you age. Your purposeful life will appear to be more productive and more fruitful. Others in your family circles will respect you more and seek your guidance and mentorship. It is easy to be discarded as a loud mouth who keeps repeating the same old things which do not matter anymore in life – I was in this category (sometimes, I still am!). However, it is critical to become adaptable with an assessment of current and future priorities and challenges of family members, and provide useful advice which they might not easily get from elsewhere. Our experience should play a strong role here with empathy and a beneficial mind set which will be of significant use to others. Make yourself useful to others with a strong sense of purpose!!! Old friends from yesteryears, and new friends that you have made on the way, contribute towards enhancing your mental and social wellbeing. Invest in your friendships and see the difference! Everyone needs emotional support and a sense of purpose, right?

The #8 approach towards keeping oneself young well into old age, is to keep working. Working on anything in which you are obviously competent, keeps you going with a strong sense of purpose and achievement. Your business and social contacts remain strongly connected to you if you continue working – they do not see the difference or feel your advancing age. And, you will feel energized every day with new vigour and commitment to pursue your work. This is the best which can happen to anyone – keep working as long as you physically can. You are mentally strong anyway, if you are following all my above suggestions! You will never feel retired, you will see that others actually need your services, and this acknowledgement from others who know you well will be a huge morale booster for your age-defying young mind!!!

I can go on and on, but the idea is not to reach #10 in my list. It is for you to think more and add to my list above. I am sure all of you would have your own valuable ideas on how to age gracefully and keep yourself young all the time – both in mind and body. Please share your ideas with me, by commenting on this blog post.

Have a wonderful week ahead folks,

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

6th January 2019

Listen to Your Silence


Today is the last day of 2018.

As we bid goodbye to a “mixed fortune” and rather troublesome year in more ways than one, I thought it would be best for me to take a couple of hours off from my schedule and write about something that has been brewing up there in my brain for the past couple of days.

This year I have chosen not to attend any New Year parties (or even Christmas parties) for personal reasons. While the option of more intellectual and social networking with friends and colleagues is rather enticing, sometimes I hit a roadblock and would rather not feign a celebratory feeling and communicate the same to others who might be truly celebrating. Not that I don’t wish to celebrate, but there is nothing (unlike in the past several years) this year that kind of pushes me to let my guard down and dance around. [Disclaimer: I do not really dance, that is a figurative phrase! My songs of the bathroom variety are more well known within my house and my family members do not appreciate my music sense and eloquence in renditioning songs which I myself put together from various languages!!].

Today, I wanted to focus on the topic of “listening to my silence”.

What happens if I position myself in a sphere of silence, forcing myself to think about silence itself as a matter of virtue?

As I look outside towards the clouds and then beneath it the large body of water, a sense of tranquillity sweeps over me (it helps that there is now no one sitting next to me as I write this post!) – a sense of calmness, of intense composure, a waveless mind – not even a drop of the pin or of a drop of water would dare destroy that sense of calm. There is no one else in this journey as I fly through the clouds and apparently even swim through the calm waters. What am I thinking here?

I am thinking my thoughts all alone in a deep silence – I am experiencing the “power of silence” so to say. I am not trying to reach out to any other soul, I am not seeing the TV, I am not even feeling my own fingers typing out these words as I am still looking at the clouds and their magnanimity. When you are alone with your own thoughts (on whatever be the matter), then there is a high probability that you will feel the “power of silence”.

This is what I try to practice on those rare occasions when I choose to go to a Hindu Temple (may be thrice a year or so). A temple, or a church, or a mosque, or a synagogue is a solemn place wherein you should try to keep your mind still [I have been to all these other places of worship as well]. There should be utter calmness of your mind, with no extraneous thoughts of any type. Surely not the ones from the illicit WhatsApp messages that have streamed into your phone that very same day. When you succeed to keep your mind still, you will experience silence, and then you will experience an insight. What is this insight?

Insight is your view of the universe when everything stands still, including yourself and your mind. When your mind and body are totally still, you will see what you cannot otherwise see or feel. This is no magic, this is simple and total commitment to silence which should take you towards an undiscovered journey during which you will experience rare insights about the universe, and then in that process, about your own self.

You do not need to offer prayers or perform rituals to achieve silence of the mind and the body. You do not need the sage advice of gurus or “god middlemen” to connect your being with the unknown. The man himself achieves the discovery on his own effort by stilling his mind towards total silence and insight. And, the temple / church / mosque provides just a venue for this purpose. It is not necessary to go to any such place for that matter. My own home balcony with the view of the cloud and the water body is just good enough and more productive for me as there are no extraneous disturbances of any kind whatsoever.

What is happening now? You are becoming more aware of yourself – in other words, instead of an ordinary existential being, you are becoming “self-aware” – not many people you have met in your life are “self-aware”. An awareness of self can be achieved by meditation or by silence which is similar – the power of such silence could be intimidating as you are actually embarking on an unknown journey to discover yourself, and you might not know yet what you are going to discover. An ability to dissect and completely analyze yourself arises only during a complete silence or meditation process. You may not like what you see in yourself, but then you become totally “self-aware”.

Is this making sense? If not, I can elaborate. I have often embarked on these silent trips, especially on occasions when I am forced to solve a personal problem. However, nowadays, I tend to do this silence journey more often for its revealing discoveries and benefits. Some of you might have tried it as I know that several friends of mine are meditation experts. However, to follow what I am explaining as above requires no expertise of any kind – it only requires focus and commitment, and a strong urge not to be disturbed by the usual human disturbances.

What are indeed the benefits of following this “silence regimen”?

Apart from self-discovery and self-awareness, you also achieve peace of mind and an ability to deal with issues and problems in a calmer manner. After all, everyone needs peace, isn’t it? The world lacks it, countries lack it, political leaders lack it and most people lack it. If you are able to achieve peace on your own, with your own self, isn’t it simply wonderful? Think about it for a minute in silence!

Remember, when you hit silence, you learn about your true self. You see truth in yourself. You do not see any more deceit. You replace any deceit with complete truth. You see your true purpose in life.

This is what this world lacks. It lacked it in 2018. I hope that 2019 will be vastly better. It is not simply a hope or a prayer. It is my expectation that I witnessed when I went totally silent – still and numb in the mind. Even my body became stiffer. After some time, you will feel relaxed. Try it!

All the very best for a successful and prosperous 2019 folks!

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

31st December 2018

SINGAPORE

 

 

 

 

Long Winding Road


As I sit down to write this post, I am influenced by the vast expanse of bluish-green water body surrounded by a green forest that looks at me everyday. It is a rarity in the concrete-dense Singapore that you get both a huge lake (reservoir) and a forest just in front of your building. I guess people will pine for such a view, though there are many seaview apartments in Singapore, or even ones overlooking a hill or greenery. But the combination of both water and greenery just outside all our windows and balcony mesmerizes me regularly, and throw in the beautiful sun setting in the evening into the water, and there you go, the poet in you will come out. In my case, I am no poet, so my blog post writer comes out!

My rumination today is about life – the long and winding road that we had crossed, and more such road ahead of us. I am thinking on what constituted my life and its long road till now – it has been a good journey, though there were plenty of surprises and some disappointments, like everyone else must have endured. I was shown the path to the main road by some very important people like my parents and one of my teachers in secondary school, and I followed that path. But once I hit the main road, I was in full control of it all by myself, with occasional guidance by some other important people who kept popping up along my “own road” – these are your guides and might include a variety of folks : your own family, your relatives, your classmates, your friends, your business colleagues, your bosses, your peers, your subordinates, your remote acquaintances, and so on and so forth. In my own road, I have been lucky to receive guidance and counsel from a few people who I cannot forget under any circumstances. There were detractors too, and I cannot forget them either.

But one thing I am clear in my head – it was just me who drove my own car along this long winding road. Nobdoy even taught me how to drive my own car! I figured out how to service my car, at what speed I should travel, who should be my car companion(s), and where to load up on petrol – if you see what I mean. Sometimes before my wedding, my car was empty, I was the sole occupant, and that is the time I gained my independence, individual thinking, acceptance of my own “self” as I was, and my own moral compass. I led my own life, and refused to be drawn into any kind of stereotype. Of course, I had the big challenge when someone understood where I came from just purely from my name: that is a tough one to crack as I was expected to behave and perform in a particular way, which I did not do most of the time.

If you do not fall into that behavioural pattern, then sometimes your “own road” could get longer, as you are outside the mainstream and too individualistic. I had this problem early on in my career and had to develop a response mechanism based on how well I did in my work. This carries on through your life, and your ability to steer clear and keep the head above generic conformity required to maintain a specific pattern actually increases and eventually makes you a deep thinker.

In my life, I had to change my “car” and take a “different road” once in a while, and that requires courage. The thing which requires a big courage is of course choosing your life companion. A wrong companion will derail your life for sure, but a good companion can make the journey a pleasant happy one while enhancing your ability to deal with steep curves on the life road. When I had to make a decision to move from Singapore to Mumbai in 2006, I depended a lot on my wife’s advice – it made the difficult shift a bit easier and allowed me to reach a level in my corporate life which I was looking for. You also add companions as you travel further – I mean your children. They will be your companions for quite a long while, but eventually will get down and choose their own set of car / road / life companion. They may proceed on an entirely different road, as is to be expected.

So, each one of us have our own vehicle, companion(s) and road. Sometimes our roads intersect and we happen to meet. Such meetings are essential especially when it involves an old friend, a classmate, a distant yet good-minded relative, or even your own children. You should ensure that such meetings continue to happen and cherish them for the memories they bring along as you continue your journey towards the end of the longish road.

Is there an end to your own longish winding road?

What do you think?

If you have lived your life well and have not committed any harm to others, there is actually no end to your road.

Am I blabbering? No. You are thinking death signifies the end of every individual’s road. Not true.

As a person loved by your own family and friends, as a human being who contributed in a positive sense to this world, as a life companion to your spouse, as a companion to your children, as a mentor to many colleagues in your professional life, your soul will linger on. For the soul, the road never ends, and it is permanently “marked” as your road with your name on it. Other people will remember you for many things, but most essentially for the good things you did.

So, your road goes on. On and on. Forever. And, your soul keeps travelling on it.

You just need imagination and a serious sense of purpose in your life to visualize what I am saying here, and I am sure you do. Think about it. Do good things to others. Contribute to the well being of all your “life companions”, and persuade them to follow their own conscience.

At the end of the day, it is our conscience and soul which matter to this world.

Your road never ends friend. Keep going, and Do good.

Have a wonderful week ahead,

Cheers

Vijay Srinivasan

21st October 2018

Value of Human Life


It is a shame to see how worthless your life can be, if you are born and living in a Third World country.

In this context, as you rightly guessed, I am going to mention Africa, India, Middle East, some Asian countries, and China. May be there are plenty others, but as examples the above will do.

If you are born in a Western country, you can more or less rest assured that your country will fight to save you if you are incarcerated in any other country. If you are in your own country, you can be sure that no one is just going to take away your rights and your own right to your own life that easily (of course, here I have to mention rather strongly about how easy it is to take away a life in the most developed country on the planet – I mean the U.S. where the proliferation of guns has led to anarchy in most down town areas of large cities and elsewhere as well – like Churches, pubs and most of all, schools). However, notwithstanding such occurrences, the Western nations protect their own citizens wherever they are living, in general, at least by representing the case in a foreign court of law, and persuading foreign governments in the cause of their citizens.

Contrast that with the absolutely indifferent attitudes that governments of Third World nations depict towards their own citizens, specifically those still living within the respective borders. Human Life is simply worthless, and can easily be sacrificed in thousands of situations, which in general, won’t be tolerated in Western nations.

Look at the casual manner in which a Saudi journalist was murdered and dismembered in his own country’s Consulate in Istanbul couple of weeks ago, because he did not toe the line of the Saudi ruler. Look at the way in which China arrested a leading, well-known actress and the President of Interpol on the pretext of tax evasion or corruption, without a public hearing. Look at the way India treats its journalists and TV channels. Look at how easy it was for a train driver to kill 60 people celebrating a festival with fire crackers in North India couple of days ago – where lies the responsibility and where is the accountability?

Middle East and Africa have a whole lot of human rights violations, and that includes Israel’s unacceptable actions against unarmed Palestinian civilians. I like Israel as a nation with incredible human talent, but the way it treats non-Jewish folks needs urgent remediation. It has to think about the larger human tragedy at its borders which is not going to disappear. The tribal nature of many Middle East and African countries is hampering their development and integration into the global society. Economic integration might happen, but social connectivity will be very hard if they do not mend their ways and approach towards the critical importance of human life, human talent, and human contributions, irrespective of cultural angles and long-held customs. You can see some of these same tribal culture in North India in several states.

Look at how Myanmar has treated its Rohingya ethnic Muslim minority (I have written about this very sad situation) and is now struggling to take them back from Bangladesh, which demonstrated incredible humanity by hosting the Rohingyas in temporary camps and provided them with food.

Look at how President Duterte of the Philippines has tried to eradicate the drug menace in his country by simply choosing the option of murdering the drug addicts, drug peddlers, and innocent bystanders by brute police force. No elected official is a god, and remember, he has killed more than 12,000 citizens in a short span of 30 months or so in a highly religious, Catholic country.

The international community is weak in its protestations and actions against most of the above atrocities. What can it do, when sovereign nations make unfathomable, illegal and non-humanitarian decisions? Not much, you may think.

There is of course, a lot the international community can do, with the support of the Western nations. However, if the U.S. does not show strong commitment towards firmly eradicating some of the more egregious actions, then the world will continue to discount the value of human life.

The right to life needs to be strongly enshrined and promoted irrespective of political or sovereign affiliations. What is the difference between one human life in a Third World country and another in a Western country? None, in my opinion. No dollar value can be ascribed to any human life.

Well, that might sound moralistic, but it is not. The idea that someone’s life is only worth USD 20,000 in India at the bottom ladder of society, whereas that same life is worth USD 300,000 in another country doing similar work with similar family situation, only cries for a better and more non-judgemental view of life on this planet.

Looks like the pen is not stopping – I can write another couple of pages, I guess. This is a topic which has come to my mind quite often, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you also start thinking seriously. If the famous MBA schools cannot address this generic problem of evaluating and assessing the value of human life, then do you think that the MBA students are getting a real education for running their own lives?

THINK!

Cheers

Vijay Srinivasan

20th October 2018

The fragility of human life


When I take a long walk (around 90 minutes) in the morning, I tend to do one of three things – either I walk in total silence focusing exclusively on the terrain ahead, or listen to my old-time favourite songs (almost always Abba or Carpenters or Lionel Ritchie or Michael Jackson, or sometimes Norah Jones), or engage in some serious thoughts with good clarity of mind in a very calm environment (there are very few people walking or jogging at the time I usually go in the morning).

I have always found that thinking hard is tough when I am stationary, or just at home doing mundane things. When I am on a solo walk, I tend to be able to think more vigorously. While there are strong positives for thinking in a calm manner while walking a long distance, there are also some downsides. For example, when the mind flies into the future (or into the past occasionally), I tend to be less careful on the terrain ahead, and have fallen down a few times because I failed to “see” some obstacle on the path (there are many stones before I reach the wood-tiled pathway around a lake that I usually go to). I realized that it is not a good idea to keep falling down and hurting myself (especially on the knees) at my age, so have improved my caution while walking which reduces the intensity of thinking somewhat. The other challenge usually is the speed at which some runners tend to overtake me on a narrow path, forcing me to move to the extreme edges of the pathway which could push me into the lake if I am not careful.

This post is however not about my walking per se. It is more about thinking. I always felt that I should have devoted more of my time in my life to thinking hard about every choice open in front of me, or to every issue in my life crying for my attention and resolution. I spent far less time on thinking, or took the easy short-cut of personal advisors, or fell back on just my previous experience.

I still take advice from others close to me, but I spend more times thinking about all issues and come back home with a clarity which is difficult to beat. The result is that I am able to engage with my family members in a calmer manner, and others in a more effective way. As I walk more, I think more. The latest issue surrounding my thought process is the fragility of human life.

We see death and destruction all around the world when ideologies clash and countries end up fighting unnecessary wars or engage in unwarranted conflicts. A beautiful life which existed yesterday with lot of hopes for its future, is suddenly gone today. The ability of man to pluck another life out of this world has only grown tremendously over the years, and that man continues his life without remorse under the guise of morality, the necessity of a “good” war over evil people, or the essential nature of law enforcement – I am sure there are hundreds of reasons that a man can devise for taking the life of another human being for which he needs to answer in his own after-life – such offenses cannot be hidden or explained away under the guise of moral explanations that a government or religion can provide to the man who is plucking the life away. There is no real serious explanation that can be offered for shooting a suspect twenty times all over his body, especially on his head and chest. There is no rationale for bombing a country with cluster or chemical weapons. There is absolutely no possible reason for trying out one country’s latest weaponry on a country which cannot defend itself against such attacks.

So, what could be the reasons why bad things continue to happen all around us establishing the total fragility of human life, which should have always had a “precious” status in humanity?

While no explanations could be acceptable, the lack of fierce responses from religious guardians is absolutely stunning. When defenceless countries and people are bombed, where is the question of religions taking sides with the perpetrators? Where is the neutrality of religious intervention to stop or deter such devious things from happening?

As I think more and more on such topics, it is not unusual for me to get depressed on our inability to stop or vote against such things – there is no possibility that poeple could question or challenge a conflict or a war, unless there is a direct referendum on the most serious matters affecting this planet as a whole. However, that is unlikely.

Our own lives are so fragile, that we are not in a position to devise suitable advance responses to what is happening to our own bodies as we age. Any amount of preparation or planning is not going to help when the inevitable thing eventually occurs in our lives. We go on steering our lives taking some precautions as and when we feel necessary, but one day the fragility of our own lives will be exposed in a natural manner.

So how do we get ready for such a 100% clear possibility at an unknown date?

Try to think of whatever you had ever wanted to do, but could not do or achieve. Create a “bucket” list of such things. Spend more and more time with your family members. Do some charity. Do not expect any returns, and do not think that you will get to heaven or hell. None of that sort might exist. At the end of the day, what matters is whether you have helped people around you, stood for some good cause, made your family members successful in their respective lives, and garnered respect and admiration from friends and relatives for your ability to successfully steer your life and contribute to society in a manner that you could. Forget about emulating other successful people, or investors, or businessmen. It does not matter.

Well, more in future posts on this topic.

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

6th May 2018

Enjoy the “Smallness” of Life


The more I think of it, the more I do – I am referring here to the small, silly things in life that we usually do not focus upon, given our general reluctance to indulge in rather “small” things and what I call as things which appear, prima facie, to be inconsequential. It is funny that we struggle to achieve the “big” things in life (at least what we think are big), and in the process, fail to enjoy what life offers to us. After achieving, or sometimes not achieving, the “big” thing, we set the goal of the next “big” or even “bigger” thing that we should definitely go after in life. And, so the life goes on.

In the process, we forget how to relish, how to enjoy the nice little things that life offers. We do not take the time (as we did many years ago) to enjoy reading the newspaper with a cup of steaming hot cup of coffee, and commenting on certain unsavoury news items to whoever is nearby, most often to our spouses. We would rather hurriedly look at the news headlines of the newspaper, decide it is meaningless quickly, and jump into the smartphone app of the most common news websites, and start browsing while walking, or doing something else. We do not take the time to talk to our own children in a leisurely manner (not just “how you are doing” and “what is happening in school”, and “how did you do in last week’s tests”, etc.,). We do not indulge in excavating the inner selves of people in our own family, while we are prepared to do it to our office colleagues, partners, and clients. We do not even spend time talking to our spouse – he or she might have clues about how to plan or execute certain things, better than we do (they usually are). We do not indulge in “small talk” with our friends who have known us for several decades in some instances. We tend to be formal, and “official”, in terms of communicating our body language to these “receivers” of antenna signals – converting what is essentially a personal relationship to a professional or formal talk.

Why is this happening? What are the reasons for such behavioural tendencies? Who do we not take people around us, those close to us, seriously, and spend more quality time with them?

The reasons are not difficult to find. In most situations, we are stressed out in our own lives (I mean in the simple execution of simple lives); in other situations, we are distracted. In very few circumstances, people find incompatibility, though it is rare after spending few decades in building a partnership with your spouse, or nourishing a friendship with your close friend. However, it is not totally unusual. Our own friends may sometimes desert us causing big pain in our hearts. It has happened to me. After all, everyone has a choice in life to follow a certain path in collaboration with certain others – the immediate ones are the family and close friends. It is understandable that very close friends move away to distant countries and lose touch with us eventually, but it is rather unusual when someone close to you completely drops you and stops responding to you, though apparently you have done nothing wrong. That causes severe pain.

I have come to realise that in life, small things matter a lot more than the big things such as financial gains, material possessions, type of car, et al. When someone connects with you genuinely, sincerely, and in a devoted manner, then life brightens. It may not necessarily for mutual gain of any sort, but rather to seek a true “connection” for lifelong companionship. It is not easy to secure that kind of connection. I have been fortunate to connect with a number of my school and college mates, and few of my ex-colleagues, and maintain those connections on a regular basis. As we all know, for sustenance, relationships have to be nurtured regularly, consistently, and with genuine affection.

In a brand-conscious, status-conscious, and wealthy society, it is often difficult to maintain a life focused on enjoying the small pleasures of life. I remember when I was buying my most recent car, one of my senior colleagues told me that I should go in for Audi, even a second-hand one, as it conveys that you are at a senior level in an organization, and secondly is compatible with the societal expectations. Given the socialist I am, I chose a Nissan which is almost faceless, though I could have gone in for the Audi. Apart from my social ideology, I also realized that in a small city one would need a car only if it is really needed for the family. And all cars take you from point A to point B on almost the same route, under the same road conditions, in similar comfort. So, why bother about more expensive toys?

Another person asked me if I tailor my shirts – I said no. Most of my shirts cost SGD 29, sometimes SGD 39, but I did not tell him that. It is rather puerile that people indulge in such talk, or evaluate you by the shoes you are wearing.

In any case, life is made up of a series of small things which need to be examined and enjoyed. It always is – unless you want to shake up things in a rather big way, affecting people around you. Nothing wrong with that, life can be pursued in many different ways for sure, but do not ignore small things as taking a walk to the nearest coffee shop with your spouse, or going to buy groceries, or fruits and vegetables, or assisting your children to purchase a good non-fiction book and combining that with a nice chocolate cake. In a nutshell, life is small and forgettable for most folks, however we can make it unforgettable by focusing on the small yet important things in our lives. Go for it!

Cheers,

Vijay Srinivasan

21st January 2018