My most impressionable years were spent at the St Marys’ High School in Madurai city of Tamil Nadu State in India. Those days it was a different society, a different education system, and a different method of teaching. I spent 6 crucial years in the secondary school (6th grade to 11th grade), and for three of those years I went through a transformative experience under the tutorship of Rev Fr Felix Joseph, S.J.
I am a member of the WhatsApp group of St Marys’ of my batchmates, and it was through that platform I learnt of the demise of Rev Fr. I also saw his pictures, and it brought back a lot of memories from those days which continue to influence me even today.
Rev Fr Felix Joseph was a firm assistant head master, and a teacher for our class. He displayed immense strength in character while showing his kindness in many ways. Our class comprised of students with varying degrees of talent and naughtiness, and he dealt with each and every student in his own personal style, without causing a fear psychosis. Students were, of course, afraid of him due to his firmness in demanding discipline and class work quality, but that never detracted the students from demonstrating their talents to the Rev Fr. He had a strong interest in literature and cinema, and also in journalism. He published his movie review in a local Tamil magazine, which attracted widespread attention, as Jesuit Fathers are not known to be very social and cinema-oriented.
Rev Fr Felix Joseph took personal interest in the development of many students – he specifically encouraged students with talents in extra-curricular areas such as sports and games, art, dramas, painting, writing, film critique, public speaking, etc., I know of my class mates who have benefited in a significant manner due to his personal involvement, guidance and mentoring. He shaped so many of us who were struggling to find our feet in this world, while goading us towards a better academic performance all the time.
He never tried to instil any Christian religious values – but, he emphasized the importance of a value system to be developed by oneself and to be followed. This is an important distinction when over 90% of the students were from the Hindu religion or philosophy. In this context, I would point out that Indian parents, of the educated variety, mostly preferred to send their children to Christian schools those days. When the school asked us to bring used clothes for charitable purposes, we all brought without any question. When we went around the statue of Jesus Christ with candles in hand, we did that without a religious orientation – we knew that all religions were the same (and still, remain the same).
Rev Fr Felix Joseph was well known for his love of the English Language, English Literature and English Vocabulary. He insisted that we broaden our knowledge of English and its application, by learning a lot of words and reading a lot of books. The value of that work was revealed during later part of our respective lives, when we could all stand our stead proudly in front of any one from around the world and hold our heads high.
A life spent in moulding young minds and lives must have been a rather enjoyable and fruitful life for Rev Fr Felix Joseph. He was a wise man and an excellent teacher of not only the English language but life skills. As a batch of students in a formative stage of our lives, it is not an exaggeration to say that he was the one single teacher who was instrumental in positively influencing all of us and guided us towards the next stage in our lives. I would say most of us survived successfully thanks in no small measure due to his unselfish contribution to our lives.
Rest in Peace Rev Fr Felix Joseph, S.J.
Cheers, and Continue to follow his guidance in the rest of our lives St Marys’ friends,
17th December 2017
Many of us keep making compromises on a continuous, ongoing basis without realizing the impact those compromises of “adjustments” have on ourselves. While adjusting to others’ whims, fancies and demands is fine, there is a choice to be made when it comes to deciding what is best for you and the best effective usage of your time and skills. And, many of us do not face the choice by avoiding the decision, or make the decision which favours others.
Let me clarify a bit more – as we navigate the course of our lives through its ups and downs, we end up catering to other peoples’ wishes and ignore our own goals and priorities in life. This happens when we are fixated on others (and that include your own immediate family members), worried that if we do not help out instantaneously, they will not make it. Others also would include friends, extended family, office colleagues, acquaintances, etc., It is important to understand what others want, analyze whether you can be of assistance in a particular situation, extend the necessary help (financial, moral, physical support) as needed, and do all this without any expectation of any kind of return for oneself.
However, if we continue doing this “assistance” to others on a running basis, it is possible that we will miss focusing on our own needs and priorities. One thing I always tell my friends is that there is an acute need to invest in ourselves, and I have seen less than 2% of my circle of friends investing in themselves. This is not any selfish motive playing out in our life – it is establishing your own goals and priorities clearly by writing these down (these goals and priorities undergo changes almost every year), and identifying methods to achieve the same. If these can be achieved while also helping every individual who needs your assistance, then that is fantastic – but that is never the case in reality.
So, here comes the challenge – how do you turn down simple requests for help from your son or daughter, or from your uncle or aunt, or even from your wife or mother? Not every one, even in your own household, understand your goals and priorities (though that is probably because you have not taken the trouble of communicating to them for whatever personal reasons). That would mean a simple thing – they look at you, see you relatively “free”, and ask you to do something. In all probability, you would help as that is most peoples’ nature. A similar kind of thing plays out when you are asked to help out an office colleague, or when an old friend seeks your help from out of the blue.
I was personally “driven” by myself for most of my life, but I also offered to help where I can. However, I do not wish to be “driven” by others to the detriment of not achieving what I have set out to do on a particular day, week or month, in pursuit of my goals and priorities. It took me a long while in life to say “NO” to others, simply because I wanted to help. I always tried to say “YES”, and sometimes I messed up in the execution of the committed activity, due mostly to conflicting priorities. Others who seek your support do not understand what you want to do. They probably think you have a lot of time, or a variety of skills, or significant resources to help solve their problems.
I am not running away from making a commitment, but I am very clear now that the FIRST priority in life is my own priorities and their achievement in the timeframe I had set out for the same. Clarity in mind helps, and eventually translates to clarity in action. This is not selfish behaviour. Everyone should have a written down list of key goals and priorities in their respective lives, and should stand up to execute the same as personally committed to oneself.
Is there anything wrong with that approach?
No, none to my mind.
One should have the personal conviction to carry out one’s responsibilities and achieve his/her goals and priorities. The priorities could include an ordered sequence of things or actions that could apply to others in your life, so that is all good. I see “conviction” lacking in most people I come across, and also I see lack of “investment” in oneself – this is not wearing high end suits or watches or shoes, but to constantly upskill oneself in the pursuit that one wants to pursue. It might require training, networking, attending workshops, online programs, and what not. But in this case, you are not working on a deal or anyone else, you are working on yourself which is very challenging, given that most of us have a rather high opinion of ourselves.
So, in a nutshell, I would summarize as follows:
- draw up a list of goals and priorities for 2018, and revise it atleast every quarter
- identify which goal will be the most important to achieve – the one that would please you the most
- take actions to achieve the prioritized goal in the timeframe which you have envisaged
- track your progress every week
- “invest” on yourself
- explain the above to your spouse as there should be no misunderstanding when you say a “NO” to a request for help
- check always to see if you can assist others when they seek help, but keep in mind that your first commitment is to your priorities in life
I have tried to capture what I have been thinking for a while. Hope this helps my audience in some way. I would encourage you all to think for yourself before putting any plan into action – it is critical to understand fully the challenges and implications for yourself. “Success” is accomplished when you achieve your set goals in the timeframe you have decided. All the Best,
16th December 2017
Today is Diwali or “Deepavali” as we call the most important Hindu festival in South India. It is a very key occasion when Hindus all over the world celebrate the victory of good over evil, and lights abolish darkness for ever. While it is a religious occasion, it is also a time to celebrate time with families and friends – a time for acquiring a “feel good” feeling which kind of emancipates us from the clutches of daily routine and frustrations, and brings a strong whiff of good will and smiles all around. Of course, we eat a lot, specifically sweets and savouries, which add to our waistlines and continue the long-standing Indian tradition of diabetic influence in our lives as we chugg along.
Not very different from Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or any of the other major religious festivals around the world.
We are fortunate that Singapore (and Malaysia) celebrates Diwali like a national festival, and has a public holiday today (like India), considering a significant population of Singapore are from Indian ethnicity. Other ethnic compatriots like the Chinese and Malays wish us “Happy Diwali” when they see us in public places like condominium lobbies, and that greeting enhances the bonding that we all have towards Singapore. The “Little India” area of Singapore has been lit with “Happy Deepavali” LED lights for nearly a month now.
For the first time ever in my career, I became an avowed Diwali enthusiast, and declined business meetings on the eve of Diwali and during the Diwali holiday (which is today). I realized that it is time that I respect my own private time during this auspicious occasion, and avoid taking calls in temples (of all places!). Calls came, of course, on Tuesday evenings, but I politely declined. The world needs to understand that Diwali is celebrated by almost a Billion Hindus, and the festival needs to be respected. Even the White House celebrated Diwali! President Trump read out a statement and then lit the lamp adorned by bright flowers, surrounded by key Indian officials.
I also declined calls during the day today (most of Asia works today), and did not look at my laptop all day. This was an unusual departure from my usual practice over the years, when I treated Diwali as any other working day (though it was always a public holiday in Singapore and India), and continued to transact business. Now, I am of the opinion that all religious festivals of national importance have to be given the requisite space and attention, whether one has any faith or otherwise. It is the sheer number of folks who follow the faith(s) and the festival(s). I also realized that the crucial message of the festival would not percolate down to our children, if I continue to be nonchalant about its importance and its place in our life.
As I sit down this evening with a glass of wine and contemplate the times when I was very young (less than 15 years old), I feel an overwhelming sense of self-pity and gloom that I have missed out a lot. May be it is true, but for me it is an emotional recall of my younger days in the city of Madurai in South India where I grew up. I am able to easily visualize the Deepavali noise and celebrations in front of my house in Palace Road and Mahal Vadambokki Street in the 1960s and 1970s. My eyes are wandering down Palace Road and making a turn towards my famous school – the St Marys’ High School of Madurai. I remember most of what was going on during some of those years, though not able to correlate the specific year with a specific event.
It is a far cry now where I am sitting in the Thomson locality of Singapore, but I believe my soul never left Madurai. Though I have not gone back to Madurai since the year 2000 (my India base is now Madras or Chennai), I still have those Deepavali and other connections to Madurai tugging me, asking me to visit the place. Some of my school mates are still living there, and I have been in constant touch with them through the magic of WhatsApp.
So, now I am thinking about Deepavali and its critical annual role in providing me with a sense of relief and liberating thoughts. I did not go to temple today as we as a family decided to stay away from the crowds. We went to the temple Monday evening, and I was so happy to make a quiet visit to the Srinivasa Perumal Temple in Serangoon area of Singapore with very little crowd at 6:30 PM. Apart from the temple visit, I also enjoyed the free “prasadam” or temple food paid for by a devotee, which in my opinion is a lucky occasion. If I am able to stand in the queue and receive the temple prasadam, I am fortunate as I then totally forget that my family was supposed to go elsewhere for dinner! The food was so delicious that we decided to eat the same and dropped the dinner plans. Such is the simple beauty of utter simplicity in thoughts and deeds. There were others who had driven their Mercedes and BMWs into the temple parking lot who were also queuing to receive the temple prasadam. We all do not need it, but we relish the important fact that the temple cooked the simple food, and we have to sit down on the temple floor to eat it on a piece of “butter” paper!
When I am able to come down from my elitism to the simplest common denominator of a guy walking down Serangoon Road, then I have become a Socialist craving equality among the masses. In essence, that is who I am. While I am not saying no to the comfort of my savings, it gives me more pleasure when I am one among the people who are commoners doing things which 90% of the world’s population does on any specific day. No one else does anything for me at least. If I am able and willing to do things on my own, then I am a Social Animal and unlike what the Rich folks say, I am willing to work hard for myself and my family and earn my worth. The Rich Republicans (I am using the U.S. example here to ease the understanding of the readers) always point that the “Left: or the Socialists are weak and poor, and do not deserve subsidies or handouts, and do not work at all”. It kind of aggravates me – that is utter nonsense. Most people want to work and earn. Sorry, I am distracting you into a completely different topic, but the essence of what I am saying is that being an elite removes you from the sufferings of the masses.
So, that is the conclusion of my Diwali holiday today, and back to the office tomorrow. In the meanwhile, enjoy your respective fatty foods and sugars and drinks today. After all, we have driven out the evil darkness from our lives, and the life ahead is full of light.
18th October 2017
This is the first ever time that I am writing about an Indian restaurant in Tokyo.
I was in Tokyo for better part of last week, and had the opportunity to have dinner with few colleagues at the Maharani Restaurant in Ojima area of Tokyo. The area is located towards the eastern part of Tokyo (some 13 stations away from the famous Shinjuku station on Tokyo’s complex subway system). It is easy to get lost in Tokyo’s Metro and Subways – Shinjuku is an underground city almost, with connections to various parts of Tokyo, and it always amazes me how the Japanese built such incredibly sophisticated underground systems several decades ago. And, couple of things continue to amaze everyone – how efficient the system works all the time (breakdowns are unheard of), and how easy it is to navigate once we understand the system interlinkages. Further, there is not much of noise anywhere, though thousands of commuters are always traversing the stations. One cannot hear loud noises or loud speaking – people move around in almost an eerie silent manner! Their discipline is simply difficult to believe or achieve in other countries (even the developed ones).
Well, let me come back to the restaurant. It is a smallish one, as most Japanese restaurants are, and located in a quiet neighbourhood with many apartments and small shops (it looked to me as though it is some part of Mumbai or Chennai). Not being in the central business area, Ojima is quiet with many old folks walking along the pavements, and some young ones riding their bicycles. Taxis have not changed in Tokyo for ages, with Toyota Crown still dominating the roads (very expensive with minimum fare starting at 410 Yen or USD 3.70, and accelerating fast as you cruise in search of your destination). I saw far less taxis in Ojima, and it is well covered by the subway.
There was no one in the restaurant when we reached it at around 6:30 PM. We ordered Rotis, Bhindi Masala, Dhal Tadka, Chicken Biriyani, Roasted Papads, and Raita. All items were well prepared and delicious. Of course, we ordered Kirin Beer which went well with the spicy Indian food. Our Japanese colleague enjoyed the food, and I asked him whether it was the first time for him at this place. He replied saying that he had been to this restaurant many times, and every time he had always relished the food. In fact, like in many developed countries, the restaurant menu displayed the severity of the spiciness of each item on the menu, and my Japanese colleague selected either a 4 or a 3 out of 5! I like Japanese food – especially the Sushi and Sashimi (yes raw fish), and also their unique Rice with the Chicken Gravy (called “Curry Udon”), and of course the Tempura Set. Mostly it is bland, except for the masala gravy on the Curry Udon, but it is pure and tasty. So, I always appreciate when a foreigner enjoys Indian food!
Though the Maharani Restaurant is small and the ambience probably gets only a 3 Star, the service is outstanding and rates a 5 Star. All the Indian staff and the Chef speak fluent Japanese (and of course, Hindi). They strive to make the patrons very comfortable with a polite conversation and smile all the time. They engage in some small talk with the Indian patrons.
The food and service are of high quality and I do not have hesitation in suggesting this place for a lunch or dinner. It costs approximately between USD 20 to 35 per head depending on the items ordered, and could be more in case one orders Sake or Whiskey.
That is my experience of Tokyo last week, though I had the usual business cocktails and dinners in 5 Star hotels. However, it might get boring as it is more of the same all the time, in most cities. The unique local experiences define the feeling for a place that one develops over time. Like the “Blue Bottle Coffee” that I had in the Roppongi business district – amazing coffee which would make you not to venture into a Starbucks again! And stories go on like that……..the world is fascinating if only we can get out there, not fixated on our laptops or smartphones. Talk to the people around – for example, I engaged in a brief conversation with a Blue Bottle employee, and it reveals another side of human life that we are totally unaware of!!!
15th October 2017
I have continuously worn eye glasses for 45 years. The spectacle is part of my life as much as any part of my body – sometimes (forgetfully though), I have even taken a shower with my glasses on. Clearly, I had come to consider that my eye glasses are an integral part of my being, and respect it as much, all these years.
So, imagine my plight without eyeglasses for the past few days! Really miserable!! Especially when the eye doctor instructed me not to read anything – whether newspaper or smartphone – for the next few days, after my cataract surgery. Yes, I had my first ever surgery of any kind last week on one of my eyes at the Singapore National Eye Centre (SNEC). I will have surgery on the other eye next week. The difficult phase of life between the first and second eye surgeries is characterized by one eye being able to see long distance, and the other one unable to do so. It is a kind of funny situation as I walk around with one eye blurred, and not being able to wear my favourite spectacle frame. So, now I have no eye glasses, and that appears to be a situation when a man has no clothes!
The good part of the experience, is of course, the ability of the rectified eye to see long distance, and suddenly everything appears to be crystal sharp. I was sitting on the living room sofa, after a few hours of surgery, and was a bit startled to be able to read everything at a distance of more than 10 feet, even small letters on an equipment or a box. It was never the case before, and even with glasses it has always been tough to discern characters from a distance of more than ten feet, unless these are somewhat big. The other eye of course refuses to cooperate, as it is yet to be rectified.
I read about laser-assisted cataract surgery, and can only wonder how far things have progressed in medical technology. In fact, my doctor also commented on this point – that technology has taken us far ahead, but we still use files to write comments on. I remarked it is just a question of time when almost everything in life will be automated (coming from a technology company!).
In a nutshell, I have not been reading my emails and WhatsApp messages for the past couple of days, and this is a blessing in disguise, I should say. I have been able to think about substantive matters of existential importance (which always happens to all of us when we get out of a hospital), and that line of thinking throws up new areas to discuss and of course, blog!
Lots of eye drops go into the operated eye every few hours, and this is part of the recovery process. I am going through that now, and it will continue all through October (4 weeks for each operated eye). The guidance and service at the SNEC has been excellent, though it is a government facility. I got a friend’s strong referral for a senior consultant at SNEC, and that is how I landed there. The professionalism and strict adherence to procedures and processes are what distinguish such institutions.
OK, I will have to stop writing further as my wife is frowning, and asking me why I am violating the code of conduct. Will report later on how life is going to be transformed without my favourite eye glasses.
In the meanwhile, have a good weekend, and a good week ahead,
01 October 2017
What is “wisdom”?
There is a simple definition – without any attribution, I think that wisdom is one’s ability to reach intelligent conclusions on any problem statement, with a combination of judgement, insight, experience and knowledge that one has accumulated over the years. Of course, there should be ample common sense, a keen understanding of the issues on hand, an analytical mind, et al.
However, wisdom is not just knowledge only. Neither is it just experience. And, I don’t believe that wisdom accrues based on age – meaning it is not necessarily true that wisdom is directly proportional to just age. The older one is, the wiser he becomes – this is not true, while it may be true in exceptional individuals who combine other factors to become a sort of sage with head filled with abundant wisdom.
It is also not true that young people are waiting to gain wisdom. There have been thousands of stories of young individuals who are far wiser for their age, and have even built companies at a rather tender age, and running their business with financial and technical acumen, not seen even in much older folks.
So, wisdom has a qualitative edge to it which is sometimes inherent in the individual. Experience does add significant value to people, and helps to generate an insight into problem resolution. Knowledge is important, but much less important than experience and judgement. We find older folks (like me for instance) are more judgemental (not a good thing), more critical (not a bad thing), and less wise when it comes to seeing new things in a new light, or even existing things in a new light. Being judgemental is not a good thing, but having a good judgement is a good thing. Hope you understand the difference. Being negative does not add to one’s wisdom either. We can be critical, but cannot be negative.
Increasingly, we find that young folks between the ages of 10 and 30 are playing in the world with wisdom that did not exist in us when we were their age. So, we need to understand that the context, ecosystem, and social development have progressed in an exponential manner just in the last two decades, which has produced wisdom in many young people.
Why did this not increase wisdom in the older people?
Interesting question. My answer may not satisfy the older folks, however.
As we age, we set our minds on things which we believe are unchangeable. What are these things? Integrity, Honesty, Affection, Commitment, Focus, Dedication, Determination, Achievement-orientation, and a lot of ego. We think and believe that in essence, we are innately good people, and we can do nothing wrong. At least, nothing wrong that could affect other people. Nothing wrong in the moral, spiritual, religious, or intellectual spheres.
In other words, we get fixated on things which are important and critical to us.
We also do not update ourselves to stay in sync with the fast evolving human ecosystem, and we dismiss most of it as not relevant to achieving what we had achieved in our working lives. We continue to live in our own space, not really accepting what our children are doing while they are growing up. This means that mentally and intellectually, we stay disconnected, though we yearn for a complete sync.
It does not take more than 30 seconds to put your right hand on your heart and feel if what I am saying is true or complete hogwash.
I truly believe that though I have kept myself technologically updated, in my mind I am still the same old guy from wherever I came from. Nothing much has changed in my mind, though I do certain things not compatible with my heritage like eating non-vegetarian foods and sending ugly WhatsApp messages, etc., We all have to make an inventory of things that have changed in ourselves from the time we started going to primary school.
When I am still the same old guy, how am I going to change myself? Can I ever change? Can I challenge myself? What should I do to generate “new” wisdom in myself?
I have not finished. I am just at the ground floor of this rather interesting and challenging topic. This blog post came about because I met one of my mentors (who really thinks I am a rebel in most things I do) this evening, and he suggested that I should start analyzing the subject of wisdom vs. age……….that set me thinking.
Wine has been banned at home for some 10 days, so my brain is a bit challenged to think more at the end of my Saturday. However, don’t you guys think this is a good and relevant topic for all of us?
Let us exchange notes and discuss.
Have a great weekend.
23rd September 2017
I have had a long-term habit of generating a rating for every new person that I meet up during the course of my work or on a personal basis, and also an opinion of how people that I know already behave in a particular situation of interest to me. I believe a constant assessment of all people interactions is a necessary basis for judging people, though there are always call-outs by youngsters “don’t judge us” or “don’t pass judgement on people”. But in a world of shifting stances, it is absolutely necessary to define the kind of folks with whom we wish to have a longstanding relationship and that can be done only with some serious assessment and judgement.
While I have mostly managed to keep my ratings and assessments, and consequent judgements private, sometimes when others interact with me, a few judgements do fall out into the open. Recently, I made the point to a couple of people that it is a necessary way to measure potential outcomes – people with high ratings tend to deliver on their commitments, and people who have poor ratings do not deliver as expected, but not necessarily of course. Especially in the corporate context, it is essential to develop a barometer of ratings of people that one comes into contact with on a daily basis, whether these folks are internal to the company or external folks (such as client, partners, analysts, suppliers, service providers, etc.,). You can then determine how to get things done most efficiently for the benefit of your company or yourself!
Such a conditioned measurement rating is developed by careful observations of words, ideas, proactive commitments, timelines, and quality of interactions with others. I developed a system wherein I followed the old, traditional methodology of A+, A, B+, B, C, D and F. There was hardly anyone in the A+ category as to be expected, may be because the other person does not see value in the particular engagement and does not deliver his or her best. Some 5 to 10% of interactions fall into the A category based on quality of interactions, relevance of commitments, follow-through on expeditious basis to deliver, and actual quality of delivery on commitments made. May be around 15 to 20% of the people fall into the B+ category, more than A category, and the rating is based on potential ability to deliver rather than actual delivery (sometimes a perception rather than pure reality). Most people in this category do strive to deliver but sometimes not equipped or capable to deliver on their commitment. Sometimes, the quality of delivery suffers. Sometimes, the behaviour or performance on the way to achieving the desired outcome is not compatible with the level of expectations. Ability to engage on an equitable basis is achieved by the A category folks, but not always by the B+ category.
Most of the folks fall into B or C category (and a few into D, none in F) and while it might be important to maintain the ties for the purpose of future improvements, it is not always necessary to nurture these folks, as the time available is limited to achieve desired outcomes. It is far better to focus on A and B+ categories of people as their productivity far outstrips those of the remaining people in the rest of the categories. Achievement of objectives, delivery of a common goal, accomplishing mutual satisfaction in the relationship and behavioural impact in a strongly positive sense are all critical to success, and these are delivered in ample measure by A category folks and most of the B+ folks as well.
It is sometimes difficult to synchronize the internal ratings system and the actual physical engagement with the concerned individual. The rating assigned to the individual remains in our head and tries to influence our behaviour towards that particular individual. I try not to get caught in this cycle of influenced behaviour and continue in the most nonchalant manner to get on with the task on hand. After all, there was a need for that meeting with that individual and it is important to progress that meeting towards what could be a positive conclusion, without getting unduly impacted by the rating I had given to that individual and his interactions with me in the past.
Such a self training improves our way of looking at people around us and the world, which is not a super-duper A+ world, but on an average, not a bad world either. Most folks around us are average, and fall between B and C on the Bell Curve. This does not mean things do not get accomplished in the world, or the quality of interactions is consistently poor. Things do progress, things do happen, people do work with each other. If the world is comprised only of A+ and A people, then it could become a threatening place driving super productivity in a mechanical manner. If we have people manager responsibility, it is critical to help our reportees move from a C to a B or B+ performance level just to stay in the competitive race, and they do understand this need.
With all that said, it is still essential to measure people around us with whom we come into contact with for meeting some goal – corporate or personal. Such a careful assessment helps not only our thinking, but might eventually help the others in measuring up. When I measure others, I am not judging from an A+ or A pedestal. I position myself in the midpoint, say a B+, that is what would give a considered judgement of other peoples’ potential, their abilities, and their behavioural tendencies. If I position myself as an A+, almost everyone else in the interaction is going to be pushed down in the ratings, and one should consciously avoid this trap. Measure yourself on the same scale and rate yourself first.
Interesting, right? It is a very interesting exercise. Just apply to yourself and the people around you. Measure others as they would measure you, in terms of all the parameters above. You will be surprised to learn that people who you have ignored in the past do get better ratings if measured in an objective manner!
And so on, and so forth.
6th August 2017